How to get kicked out of a Russian disco

So, these types of things are happening to me with entirely too much frequency, but I will try to explain my case, lol!

First, I have to explain the culture of German Discos:

People dont come to the club, and just dance with random people . . . whomever you come to the club with is who you dance with . . . this means for guys and girls, you just stand in a big circle, and do a two step all night in between taking shots . . . . . .
If a girl that you dont know dances "on" you like a girl would in america, it means that they want to go home with you . . . that is how it was explained to me . . . . . .

Note: Okay . . . . so I love to dance!! . . . A LOT!!!


On with the story . . ..
So my friends are determined to build my alcohol tolerance up to their level (mind you, they have been drinking hard liquor since they were 14 . . .)
Before we even get into the club . . . . we take shots from some 40 proof bottle . . . I was done by my third shot, and I had not even walked into the club yet!!!

Then we walked into the club, and got in for free cuz one of the people i went with knew the door guy! We go in, and have six more rounds of shots . . . . utter craziness!!!

We finally go to the dancefloor, and they are playing oldies but goodies . . . so we got in a circle, and started dancing . . . . and I burned it up, lol! Like, I was all over tha dance floor, but I kept it in the pocket . . . as in, I wasnt dancing like a drunk man, I was just dancing my face off . . .

At any rate, these girls were looking at us (cuz we were all fly, of course) . . . . so I started dancing with one . . . . and she didnt push me away lol . . . and all of my friends gasped lol . . . .at any rate, i didnt have sex with her, of course, I just wanted to dance . . .
This was the confidence boost that I needed, and i danced with a lot of other girls, some barstools, a chair . . . . you get the idea, lol

So, eventually, I decided that I needed a break . . . . which was around 130 in the morning . . .. and my friend and I walk out to the lobby. A girl passed right by me, and in my drunken fit of hyper-masculinity, i let my hand rub against her stomach as she walked past me . . . . but, okay . . . . not a big deal, right?

Not really (as in, the girl didnt mind), but I happened to do it right as a big ol burly security guard was walking by . . . and this is where the drama starts . . . .

So, the guard never talks to me directly, he talks to my friend, Andy, my great friend who comes from mother Russia, visited me in this year in Atlanta, and was happily shocked by how the girls would just dance wit you, no problems or cares, they would just dance and have a good time . . .

At any rate, he attempted to explain the cultural differences between American clubs and German(russian) clubs . .. the guy still kicked me out . ..

Now, I told him, I would leave, i didnt want any trouble at all . . . so I paid, and they escorted me to the front door, which was a few feet away

Andy all of a sudden has an arm around his neck, and these guys pushed him into this secret room . . . . so I try to go up, and they hold me by the neck, telling me I need to go . . . I tried to explain (ich will kein ärger . . . ich will nur mein kumpel von mir züruck)
I dont want no problems, i just want my friend back . . . . . so then my brother comes running out the club, along with the rest of our party, and it is about to turn into a big fight . . . . my head is now spinning . . . cuz i drank at this point a lil over a litre of vodka by myself inside 2 and a half hours . . . .

Andy comes out, and tells us one dude held him while another punched him thrice . . . so they call the police. . . . i wanted to cry, cuz it is all my fault . . .DAMN THESE HIPS

The police come . . . and get the stories of everybody, and leave . . . I was like, great, we all had an awesome night up to this point, let us all just go home . ..

Thank God, that is what we did after while, but that was ridiculous!! .. . . . .

So, i am going to stay away from dancefloors and vodka for a lil while (added to my list, which includes Jose cuervo . . . silver and gold)

. . . . and that was my Saturday night in Stuttgart . . . . .